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Here’s some things I wrote that I like: some humor, some editorials, some food reviews. ALL UNBELIEVABLY FANTASTIC.


My Instagram Makes My Life Look Perfect. In Reality, It’s Just Really, Really Good 

The kind of person who introduces themselves as an “influencer” takes you behind the scenes to show that in actuality, a moneyed life of leisure is only pretty amazing.


Brace Yourself For the Hottest Take in the World

Essay about hastily formed, contrarian opinions, written in the style of an Adderall-addled Eric Garland tweetstorm.

This Police Department is Actually a TV Procedural Drama

An archetypical detective discovers his entire existence is just carefully scripted network television.


You Can Stay in a Tent on LA’s Skid Row for $10 a Night

Examination of Skid Row’s lack of affordable housing and a local’s unusual method of attracting attention to that issue.

A Gang of Rich, White Surfer Dudes is Terrorizing a California Beach Town

Spotlight on Palos Verdes Estates, CA’s local surfers “The Lunada Bay Boys” and their decades-long history of using intimidation and violence to keep outsiders away from their breaks.

How it Feels to Be Circumcised as an Adult

Interviews with various people about the unusual practice of elective, adult male circumcision.

Hence LA

Nervous Breakdown Scheduled Between Audition, Pilates

Piece for LA-centric humor site about dealing with ambition and pressure.


Compton Tacos Don’t Want to Be Authentically Mexican

Profile of “black taco” entrepreneur Keith Garrett and his food stand All Flavor No Grease.

These Delicious Desserts Smell Like Gym Socks

I tour the San Gabriel Valley and sample several varieties of stinky/awesome durian fruit pastries.


Going to a Bar Alone

This essay was *surprise* written while I was at a bar alone. The Smokehouse in Burbank, to be exact. It’s great and you should go sometime.


Why “The Wolf of Wall Street” Should Win Best Picture

Tongue-in-cheek support for a Scorsese film I have not seen.

LA Foodie

Pa Ord Noodle

One of my favorite restaurants in the whole wide world: Pa Ord in Thai Town, LA, CA.

Ricky’s Fish Tacos

This was written back when Ricky’s was a pop-up in a hair salon’s parking lot. Now it’s a food truck in a hair salon parking lot! Times, they change.

417 Magazine

The Real Yakov Smirnoff 

I spent a day with Yakov Smirnoff at his Branson theater. He’s a really interesting guy.